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Have PTSD? Ways to Deal with the July 4th Holiday

kellywilsonwrites

29 Jun, 2023

The July 4th holiday is fun in the sun for a lot of people, but for those with PTSD, it’s basically just terrible. This nationwide celebratory weekend has jarring booms and blasts, crowds, heat, and other stimuli that are overwhelming and triggery.

The good news is that there are ways we can protect ourselves during the July 4th holiday from environmental triggers that can eat up an hour or a day or more of our lives. Here are five ways to lessen the impact of the noisy July 4th celebrations. Enjoy the acronym, where if you put the first letters of each one together, it makes the word SPARK!

I know, I’m sorry, I can’t help it. Hopefully, though, one or more of these suggestions will resonate and be useful during the July 4th weekend.

Stay Home…or Don’t

Staying home is one of the safest ways to guard against PTSD environmental triggers during this holiday. But maybe you’re not into isolating or staying home.

The important point is that you have the choice and you have your own voice. You get to decide how, where, and when you will – or will not – celebrate our nation’s birthday over the weekend. You get to decide if you will stay for the fireworks or if you will stay home. Either way, you remain in control, and that in itself will help cut down triggers.

Plan Ahead

Planning ahead also helps to avoid unexpected triggers, even if your plan is to not have a plan. If structure helps, create a schedule of the activities for the weekend and especially for July 4th. Maybe there’s a fun parade in town, or maybe the crowds would be too much. Perhaps some time relaxing by a nearby river or lake would be welcome, or inviting people over for a barbecue. Maybe you would rather take advantage of the holiday with some typical weekend activities and a nap. Making a plan will help soothe your nervous system and make it easier to cope.

Ask for Help

If you’re spending time with others during the July 4th holiday, setting some preventative boundaries can help avoid potential triggers. Decide what you want to do on that day. For example, do you want to go to any barbecues? The town’s parade? The fireworks?

If you do decide to participate in any of these activities, consider that you don’t have to stay the whole time. You always have a choice. And you don’t have to do any of this alone. Go to these events with trusted friends and family members who are aware of your triggers and what you might need. When you feel a trigger coming on, you’ll be able to ask for what you need, including space and time for quiet or to simply get going.

Rest Beforehand

Let’s face it, these events and the possible triggers are exhausting. They are also fun and exciting, but they require some planning on our end to make things as peaceful as possible during this holiday. Be ready to deal with triggers by resting up beforehand so that you can make the most of the time out with friends and family at these fun activities. And do not forget to rest afterward to be able to enjoy the demands of everyday life.

Know Your Self-Soothing Skills

Escaping for a couple of moments to self-soothe is an important way to be able to have fun and practice self-care. This could look like escaping the heat by finding a piece of cool shade and spending some time alone. Breathing techniques, grounding exercises, and meditation are also helpful for self-soothing anywhere and at any time. I’ve been known to do a short meditation in a friend’s bathroom so that I practice self-soothing and avoid potential triggers.

There are many ways to help ensure that this fourth of July weekend will be a celebration worth remembering. The choices are yours!

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PTSD & Trauma Recovery: Building a Trigger Toolkit

kellywilsonwrites

26 Jun, 2023

A trigger toolkit is a collection of skills and tangible items that allow us to cope with the effects of our trauma in healthy ways.

For instance, when I work with clients in my office or with Zoom, I always wear a necklace. My necklaces have prominent pendants that are good for fidgeting. I like to fidget because it helps me to listen and focus on what’s happening with the other person.

These necklaces also help me to ground. One pendant – my favorite, actually – is a round piece of metal that has “I can do hard things” stamped into it. When my nervous system is activated or I’ve been emotionally triggered, I run my fingertips over the stamped letters. It serves more than one purpose; I am reminded of what I have already overcome, I’m grounded with a tangible way to an object of hope, and I’m soothed by the smoothness of the metal.

How Triggers Work

While the word “trigger” is used fast and loose in our culture, this word has a specific meaning when it comes to PTSD and trauma experiences.

First, let’s talk about nervous system activation, which is the part of our wiring that produces a fight, flight, or freeze response that is typically quickly resolved. For example, if someone in traffic swerves unexpectedly and almost hits you with their car, your nervous system may become activated but will quickly go back to calm.

A trigger, however, is subconscious and tied to our trauma experiences. Here’s an example: I go into a room. I smell Aqua Velva after shave. The smell puts me right back when I was seven years old, with my abusive father. I can’t breathe. I scan the room for danger and exits. My body panics and I feel nauseous. Full-on nervous system activation.

A trigger is when something jolts you into a visual or emotional flashback, like you are back in the trauma. It’s your fire alarm system going off when there is the memory of a fire, but you are in no danger. Many triggers result in a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response, but not always. Some triggers can be anticipated, while others seem to come out of nowhere.

Triggers can be caused by hearing fireworks (this one is super common), new reports, or seeing or smelling something that is from the traumatic event.

Basically, our warning system is stuck in the ON position (PTSD Remediation resets our systems back into a more “normal” function).

Parts of a Trigger Toolkit

First, an important point, which is: USE WHAT WORKS.

Use your favorite coping skills in your trigger toolkit. This will help you remember what they are when you are triggered.

Also, who wants to keep doing something that they don’t like? Not me. If you try something and it doesn’t work or you don’t like it, chuck it. Maybe try something new. Also, keep in mind that it may take more than one tool to get through a trigger, along with time.

The best Trigger Toolkits have a variety of tools. The categories that I’ve learned when building my own trauma recovery toolkit are Grounding, Resolving, Affirming, Distracting, and Self-Soothing.

Grounding: these interrupt the overwhelming feelings and thoughts swirling around inside our heads by shifting our attention to our bodies which helps us feel calmer, more focused, and more in control of ourselves

Resolving: these address the underlying cause of particular triggers so that they are no longer a source of our being triggered in the future

Affirming: these directly impact the way we talk to and think about ourselves and our triggers, making it easier for us to feel in control of our triggers rather than being at their mercy

Distracting: these strategies do not resolve or change our response to a trigger. Instead they shift our focus from the emotional and physical response to the trigger onto a calmer, emotionally neutral situation or event. This effectively starves our trigger response and it dissipates without our attention

Self-Soothing: these are strategies we can implement to soothe and calm the distress caused by a trigger

Start Your Trigger Toolkit

Here is a downloadable tool that goes into more detail about what strategies are in each category.

This is by no means an exhaustive list. And you likely already use tools that can be put into one or more of these categories. Take note of the tools already in your toolkit.

Happy building!

Creating a Trigger Toolkit | Trauma & Grief Recovery | Map Your Healing JourneyDownload

Curious if your trauma symptoms are related to PTSD? Take this FREE PTSD Quiz to find out!)

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8 Treatment Options for PTSD Recovery

kellywilsonwrites

20 Jun, 2023

The great thing about PTSD Recovery is that there are many treatment options. The tough thing about PTSD Recovery is that many trauma survivors don’t know that they may be experiencing symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and/or how to screen for it.

So just in case you missed it, here’s more information about definitions and symptoms of PTSD and how to screen for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (by yourself or with a professional).

But First…

The thing about PTSD recovery is that there is no “one way” that works for every single person. There are treatment modalities that work for me that you might not like at all, and vice versa. In addition, my experience is that I have grown into treatment options that previously I was not able to handle when I first tried them.

I put these treatment options in order of accessibility, meaning that they are:

  • relatively easy to access
  • provide safety to individuals in distress
  • fairly easy to handle when first starting the journey of PTSD Recovery

This list is by no means exhaustive. I encourage anyone looking at possible treatment options to carefully research and seek out people who have gone through these treatments. The VA has produced several videos about treatment options mentioned below to help.

Onward to Treatment Options

Talk therapy – Trauma Recovery Coaching falls under this category (the differences are that I cannot diagnose mental illness or prescribe medication). This is the most common type of intervention for PTSD and some specialize in PTSD recovery (like me).

Medications – Antidepressants are often prescribed, especially for individuals in distress. There are many varieties out there, so if one doesn’t work well, there is likely another out there that will work. It may be easier to get an appointment with your primary care physician or a psychiatric nurse practitioner to get a prescription.

PTSD Recovery Basics – There’s no official protocol for what people need to know about PTSD when they are diagnosed, so I made one. This 8 session course is a combination of helpful information and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT is a talking therapy that can help you manage your problems by changing the way you think and behave.

Cognitive Processing Therapy – CPT helps challenge and change stuck ways of thinking surrounding trauma experiences. This is generally a short-term type of therapy (12 weeks) helps individuals who have experienced violence, abuse, natural disasters, or other traumatic events. 

EMDR – Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress by activating healing processes in the brain.

Prolonged Exposure – I have mixed feelings about this one, because sometimes to talk about traumatic events can be re-traumatizing. In the best sense, Prolonged Exposure helps break the brain’s association between experiences and trauma in order to move forward.

Somatic Therapies – Touch and movement connect the mind and body through touch or movement in order to help process trauma that is stored in the body.

And My FAVORITE PTSD Treatment

PTSD Remediation – This is my all-time favorite, because this treatment helped me to get rid of my PTSD symptoms completely. Now I offer this treatment option, which uses specific vagus nerve exercises to help the amygdala dump stored trauma, which is then processed and released. You can read more about it here.

BONUS! Additional Treatment Modalities

I have personal experience with all of these except for ACT. Professionally, I have seen individuals use and be successful with that one, so I have confidence in it.

I encourage you to get curious and try different ways of moving and accessing and thinking and feeling your way forward. There is no “right” way, there is only you and what works.

  • Comedy, both stand-up and improv
  • Yoga and trauma-informed movement
  • Pilates
  • Sound bathing
  • Trauma & Grief Writing – I’ll be offering this on a regular basis. Go here for more info!
  • Sensory Deprivation – these are the saltwater soaking tubs. Many have coupons and deals through Groupon.
  • TRE – Trauma & Tension Release Exercises are fascinating. TRE® is an innovative series of exercises that assist the body in releasing deep muscular patterns of stress, tension and trauma. I tried this several years ago and wasn’t ready, but I’m excited to try again.
  • Art therapy, including music
  • Group work, like Seeking Safety
  • Acupuncture
  • Massage Therapy
  • ACT – Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is type of therapy that helps people accept difficult or negative thoughts, feelings, or circumstances and commit to constructive activities.
  • DBT – Dialectical Behavioral Thinking is a type of structured therapy that helps people learn how to manage very strong emotions and navigate relationships, especially when conflict arises.

What am I missing? Any others?

And One More Thing…

Here is a video that provides a brief overview of PTSD treatment options.

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Don't Forget to See Your Grief in Context

kellywilsonwrites

15 Jun, 2023

My current husband said, “This is one of the last times I’ll drive here, after four years.” He guided the car into the high school parking lot.

“This is one of the last times I’ll turn into this parking lot since I was…21 years old,” I said.

I’m 48 years old, currently.

Those words took my breath away.

Sometimes you don’t know the meaning of something until you say it out loud, and the words have a witness.

My First Husband

My first husband took this band director job in September 1996. Fresh out of college. All of 23 years old.

In the 1900 and 90s, education funding was precarious, especially for the arts. Teaching positions were difficult to come by. We had fully expected to have to move somewhere for him to gain experience, and then hopefully move back.

But he got the job, so we moved from Warner Pacific College to Milwaukie, a distance of about 7 miles away.

I remember that first home football game. Crisp evening September air, sassy pep band tunes where it’s clear when to yell, “HEY!” The surreal feeling of being only a few years older than the students, and both of us feeling nervous. The green and gold colors, which were the same colors as Timberline High School in Lacey, where he and I met when I was 14 turning 15.

Against all odds (seriously, his interview was quite hilarious, I think it was his first one for a teaching job, but he was – and is – talented and well-recommended), he got this teaching job that moved our lives forward in a specific direction.

The “Good” Wife & Mom

While we disagree on many things, he and I have always agreed on investing in community. I became Band Wife, and then with our kids, Band Mom. A changing list of band kids babysat our children as they grew from babies into toddlers and school age.

We bought a house in the district boundaries, and determined that our kids would go to high school where he taught music and – hopefully – be in the band program (I mean, did they really have a choice? By the time each kid was three, they could identify jazz musicians from grocery store muzak). I got a teaching job in the district; in fact, the same elementary school that my kids went to.

I thought I would be married, have kids, and teach for 30 years and then we’d retire, bing bang boom easy peasy lemon squeezy. We often talked about him doing this job until Youngest was done with high school and then what – who knows???

(I was playing a role – doing what I thought I was “supposed” to do according to society and the church and my trauma background. Be quiet. Be small. Don’t rock the boat. You don’t have needs.)

And for awhile, this worked.

And then I started to heal.

This Job Took Its Toll

I dutifully went to most concerts, even when the kids were little. There were years of these junior high and high school band concerts, summer lessons in our daylight basement, fundraisers on fundraisers, Disneyland trips every other year, parades, bus trips, workshops, contests, Halloweens, “Best Teacher” Christmas ornaments, staff parties, senior photos of past students, 16 hour workdays…

Also budget worries (personal and professional), fighting, scheduling woes, district changes, job changes, recruiting, conferences, and did I mention fundraisers?

The story underneath this story is that I resented this band directing job as much as I loved him doing what it seemed like he was meant to do. I spent a lot of time alone, for a lotta years. It is an all-consuming career.

My Grief is in Context of This Bigger Story

Last week, I went to my *last* high school band concert of my parenting career (and before). On Friday, I went to the band awards night.

Friday night was when we drove into parking lot and I said, “This is one of the last times I’ll turn into this parking lot since I was…21 years old.”

That provided so much context for the grief I am feeling now, which certainly feels like Empty Nest grief on steroids.

Youngest is graduating almost 30 years to the day that I graduated high school. So yes, it’s his last week-ish of high school band, but it’s also mine.

Full circle.

My grief in context.

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Two Handy Self-Screening Tools for Trauma & PTSD

kellywilsonwrites

13 Jun, 2023

One of the most significant things I’ve learned as a trauma and grief recovery coach (specializing in PTSD recovery) is that people have life-changing psychological trauma and do not realize it.

I’m on a personal and professional mission to change that, one screening at a time!

What is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Basically, PTSD happens when we see or experience a traumatic event that is shocking and/or dangerous and we are not able to process it in real time.

There might be many reasons that we aren’t able to process it. For instance, we might have come out of an abusive childhood where we had to be shut down in order to survive, which results in complex trauma responses and PTSD. Or there might be a regional or global catastrophe – like September 11th, Hurricane Katrina, or a pandemic – that affects a large population with little to no resources for processing the trauma.

The 17 Symptoms to Choose From

In this trauma & ptsd post, I outlined an acronym to help remember and explain the symptoms of PTSD: MANS! Each letter stands for one of the four main symptoms of this condition.

Within each of these four main symptoms, there are more specific symptoms. Here’s a breakdown:

Memories

  • Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event
  • Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks)
  • Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event
  • Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event

Avoidance

  • Trying to avoid thinking or talking about the traumatic event
  • Avoiding places, activities or people that remind you of the traumatic event

Negative Thoughts & Feelings

  • Negative thoughts about yourself, other people or the world
  • Hopelessness about the future
  • Memory problems, including not remembering important aspects of the traumatic event
  • Difficulty maintaining close relationships
  • Feeling detached from family and friends
  • Lack of interest in activities you once enjoyed
  • Difficulty experiencing positive emotions
  • Feeling emotionally numb

Startled

  • Always being on guard for danger
  • Self-destructive behavior, such as drinking too much or driving too fast
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Irritability, angry outbursts or aggressive behavior
  • Overwhelming guilt or shame

Fortunately, psychological trauma does not have to be lifelong! Building awareness can lead to a variety of treatments that can help heal up the effects of traumatic events.

Screening Options

First, though, do you have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – or, like me, Complex PTSD?

There are a few ways to screen for trauma and PTSD. Each of these has value and offers something a little different.

First, there’s the Aces Too High study by CDC-Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences Study that measured 10 types of the most common childhood traumas. The study found that,

The CDC’s Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACE Study) uncovered a stunning link between childhood trauma and the chronic diseases people develop as adults, as well as social and emotional problems. This includes heart disease, lung cancer, diabetes and many autoimmune diseases, as well as depression, violence, being a victim of violence, and suicide.

https://acestoohigh.com/got-your-ace-score/

Go here to find YOUR Ace score and more about this groundbreaking study.

The FREE PTSD Quiz

The VA has declared that June 27th is PTSD Self-Screening Day.

Self-screening promotes taking the first step in seeking PTSD treatment. The self-screen takes only a few minutes to complete and can help you discover if your feelings and behaviors may be related to PTSD. All screening responses are private — they are not collected or shared.

Go here to take the PTSD Self-Screening.

Screen With Me

I’m happy to help you screen for PTSD for free. I use the PTSD checklist created by the VA and intended for civilians. This is – in my opinion – the most comprehensive screener currently available.

In addition to a free screening, we will discuss available treatment options and resources. While I offer two excellent treatment options, these are not the definitive word. In fact, a variety of treatment modalities helped me to experience healing from my psychological trauma.

Therefore, we will discuss what I know about seeking PTSD and CPTSD treatment and getting the support that is right for you.

The PTSD Screening appointment is 45 minutes and is completely free. Click or tap below to make an appointment.

June is PTSD Awareness Month! Find out more about this condition and what you can do about it every day this month!

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I offer one-on-one sessions, groups, PTSD Remediation, and classes. Appointments are offered in-person and online.

Try Trauma Recovery and Grief Recovery Coaching for Free! Book a free 30-minute Discovery Call to find out more!