Grief has been a theme for me lately. I talk a lot about grief with my clients and groups, because you can’t have trauma without grief. With trauma, we grieve what we had, and we grieve what we didn’t have.

It used to surprise me that I rarely (if ever) see this connection between trauma and grief anywhere else. This week, though, when doing some research for a client, I found out some really valuable information regarding grief and grieving research, as well as a couple of helpful resources.

The Grief Ball in the Box

Individuals often ask me if grief lasts forever. Heck, I’ve asked myself that several times over the years.

The short answer? Yes. Also, no.

Ha! You see what I mean?

About five years ago, Twitter user Lauren Herschel shared a conversation with her doctor about how grief changes over time. This is where the Ball in the Box grief analogy comes from. Here’s a video explanation:

This is based on Lois Tonkin’s model of grief, in her 1996 article Growing Around Grief: another way of looking at grief and recovery. The grief doesn’t shrink over time, our lives expand and grow around the losses and grief we experience.

Here’s a video that explains it, as well as an in-depth article about the Growth Around Grief concept:

On the Grieving Brain

Another resource popped up in my email inbox recently. Amanda Stern interviewed Dr. Mary-Frances O’ Connor, a researcher, scientist, and psychologist who has pioneered the field of grief research in the United States.

This interview is rich and covers a lot of topics, like the difference between grief and grieving, why grief can take so long, grief as a response to loss, grief research, and emotions that feel like grief, but are not technically grief. The article and transcript can be found here.

All of these are excellent resources on grief. When you are ready to take the next step in your grief journey, I’m here to help. There are now Trauma and Grief Recovery packages to help you save more than paying for individual appointments.

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