Since last weekend, I’ve been processing through a series of posts I wrote for social media.
I’m currently taking classes to be certified to work with adolescents (ages 13 – 21).
Nothing brings up my own trauma and grief experiences like taking classes to learn how best to work with people in trauma, ptsd, and grief.
I share this here because so many of my clients talk to me about results.
I get it. I slammed up against the “When Can I Be Done With This?” question for a good decade before radically accepting that this is not how trauma and grief recovery work.
For us, this path is largely about the journey and not the destination. Just like the platitude says.
This path is about learning to live in the world as our authentic selves, as we have dug ourselves out from under the abuse and losses and heartbreak that we have endured.
To exercise control over the results of our trauma and grief experiences, not have those experiences control us.
This process takes time, observation, acknowledgement, and celebration. This is what I’ve noticed about my own journey in the last week.
Post 1
I’m taking another weekend of Certified Adolescent Support Specialist (aka ASS) classes, and it blows my mind that at 17, both of my parents were <poof> gone and I was just…left…to find a place to live and go to school for my senior year and figure out how to go to college.
Alone.
DUDE. WTF THO.
Post 2
Follow up to my last post:
I’m learning how to be
the person *I* needed
when I was 17 years old.
Post 3
I’ve been processing this for days, the fact that when I was 17, my parents disappeared and I had to figure out how to live and go to school on my own.
Something about this processing experience has really thrown me.
I have been feeling…a bit off. A little tilted.
There’s been a feeling of anticipation as I work through the layers of reality, disbelief, deeeeep grief, radical acceptance, deeeeep anger, and more I haven’t identified…
Anticipation and guardedness. Like part of me is watching and waiting for something.
I was chatting with one of my besties about it and figured it out when she pointed out that I was regulated.
My nervous system was calm while I processed through these many layers of emotions and feelings.
As hours and days go on, my nervous system is still calm. Still at peace.
What does this mean?
That in a profoundly foundational way, I know that I am safe.
My body and brain are working together.
My many parts are on the same side: my side.
Last night I realized, I’ve been waiting and watching for a Big Nervous System Event that is not going to happen.
I’m safe.
I’m safe.
I’m safe.
This is The Work.
I Invite You to Notice and Celebrate How Far You Have Come in This Journey of Trauma & Grief Recovery.
Thank you for Being Part of This Community!
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