I taught elementary and junior high kids for a solid decade, so September feels more like January to me than, well, January. New schedule! New opportunities! New habits! New friends!
Now that I no longer teach in a classroom, I find that I still love this “Back to School” time of year, only now I call it PEN SEASON.
There’s NOTHING like a really GOOD pen. My favorite is the G2 in blue. BUT each year I buy a couple of different kinds – as they are ON SALE – and try out to see if there are any unknown favorites waiting in the wings.
Changing With The Seasons
I don’t know about you, but my summer SUCKED.
My dog almost died from a mysterious illness that we barely caught in time. I helped one of my best friends sell her house and move away. I went on vacation and got super sick. I’m moving my youngest child to college in a few weeks. And there’s more.
I couldn’t be happier to change from summer to fall. To be fair, fall is my FAVORITE season. I mean, it starts with NEW pens ON SALE. What’s not to love?
At the same time, moving out of lengthy, warm, sunny days into shorter and cooler weather is tough. Not for me, because I’m hot and sweaty all the time (#menopause) so I don’t mind cooler weather. But people tell me that moving from summer to fall is difficult.
I JOKE! Of course changing seasons is hard. You know why?
CHANGE IS HARD.
Back to School Means Change
“Back to School” season is a signal of change. A new start.
What comes with every single change? No matter how big or small?
GRIEF.
I was talking with someone the other day about the number of schools this person has attended in a short time – the number was in the double digits. My dad was in the Army, and we moved a lot, so I can relate.
I was at my 10-year high school reunion before I realized that people don’t move every 2 to 3 years. MOST people grow up within ONE community, with root systems and community support. My classmates had not only known each other through high school; they had known each other since kindergarten.
Whew. That was a lot for me to process. I felt a LOT of grief with those realizations.
Moving schools is a great example of a grief experience that we do not honor in our society. Moving from one grade to the next is *also* a grief experience that often comes with a partner called ANXIETY.
Managing Back to School Anxiety and Grief
For me, grief is pretty straightforward when it comes to change:
- *Acknowledge the facts and feelings
- *Sit with the feelings
- *Talk about the feelings and changes
- *Express emotional energy (i.e. art, crying, movement)
These strategies also help work through anxious thoughts and feelings. Sometimes talking about them is the best way to rob anxious thoughts and feelings of their power.
Anxiety, however, is a bit tougher because in our nervous system, it feels similar to excitement. To put it simply, what happens in our bodies when we feel nervous is the same stuff that happens when we’re excited.
How we feel *sometimes* is all about how we frame it.
Tips for September’s Big Feelings
Whether you are a kid heading back to the classroom, a parent helping out your kid, or a human that walks the earth, here are a few ways to manage Back to School Big Feelings.
Reframe – maybe it’s not all anxiety or nervousness; maybe there are other feelings that relate more with excitement, like motivated, energetic, and playful. Reframing is an excellent way to allow ALL of the feelings to have space.
Leave early and go slow – there’s going to be a lot more traffic out on the road, and it’s going to be an adjustment. Allow yourself A LOT OF TIME over the first couple of weeks of school to adjust to the changes happening AROUND you, not just in your life.
Don’t plan anything the first two weeks of school – No extras. This is more for teachers and students going back to the classroom, but it’s good advice for us all during the month of September. Let’s take a breather after the heightened activity of summer and CATCH OUR BREATH. Enjoy cooler temperatures and notice that darkness falls earlier.
Get a Happy Light – head off the SAD by using a happy light in the mornings when you get up. This is a good signal to your brain that it’s time to get up and get going, and helps keeps happy hormones humming along as we move into cooler temperatures and less natural light.
Limit Social Media and other phone stuff – did I mention that, as I write this, we’re in an election cycle? A presidential election, no less? The stress is THICK. UNPLUG from the chaos of it all, at least for a little while, and give your nervous system a break.
AND DO NOT FORGET TO STOCK UP ON YOUR FAVORITE PENS!
You Don’t Have to Do This Work Alone
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