Election Anxiety? Check Out These Resources

kellywilsonwrites

12 Nov, 2024

When it comes to politics, I walk a fine line. Why?

What’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is yours.

And while politics and trauma and grief intersect, it’s not my job to tell you what to believe.

My job is to:

Provide support in a variety of ways for people who are working through trauma, PTSD and grief symptoms
Educate about trauma, PTSD and grief recovery
Inspire others through my story as a trauma and grief survivor
And if I’m lucky, entertain through stories of humor, healing, and hope

And more specifically, my job is to offer a safe, calm, regulated, and confidential environment as people do this work.

That Said, This Election Represents A Lot of Trauma for Many of Us

Those of us who have specific experiences are going to struggle in a more intense way with this election. Some of these experiences include:

abusive and/or authoritarian parents / caregivers
child abuse and neglect
generational trauma
chaotic and uncertain environments / family life / relationships
sexual abuse / assault
narcissistic relationships

If you are struggling with these election results, you might be experiencing:

heightened PTSD / cPTSD symptoms
greater anxiety
deeper depression
feeling powerless
feeling hopeless
grief symptoms – loss of or too much sleep, hard time concentrating, tough time motivating or executive functions, appetite loss, brain fog
Less spoons for daily activities
feeling like you don’t belong and that nobody understands

There is no arguing our way out of these symptoms.

Trauma and grief WILL get better with time and practicing building up a safe space within yourself.

Resources for Election Anxiety

One way to build a safe space within yourself is to practice skills, both new and old.

Simply put, this is a tough time. And like many tough times, we need to remember to practice skills to keep our heads about water.

So I have created a playlist on my Youtube channel for Getting Through Tough Times (there are also some mental health comedy videos on here). Check out my YouTube channel and subscribe so that you can get many more videos about specific skills that you can practice at any time that will help you through tough times of any kind. Because they will continue to happen.

Another way to get through this tricky time and the symptoms that are running wild is to book a few sessions – you can save a great deal with the current Election Special.

These sessions will provide you with much-needed support and guidance, as well as a chance to reconnect with yourself and gain new perspectives on the challenges you are facing, allowing for personal growth and emotional healing.

And finally, there are good election resources are listed here – please DO NOT HESITATE to reach out for help.

Election anxiety Crisis Text Line – Text ELECTION to 741741 to reach a live volunteer crisis counselor.
The Racial Equity Support Line is staffed by people with lived experience of racism and provides emotional support and resource referrals to those experiencing the impacts of racist violence, microaggressions, racial discrimination and cross-cultural issues. Call 503-575-3764, Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. to 7 p.m.
LGBTQ+ mental health resources
The Trans Lifeline Hotline offers peer support in an anonymous and confidential environment. Call 877-565-8860, Monday – Friday, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Phone lines may be open for longer hours during the post-election period as needed.
If you experience or witness a hate crime in Oregon, you can call the Bias Response Hotline by calling 844-924-BIAS (2427) to receive support, help you understand your options and make choices about next steps. You can also report hate crimes directly to law enforcement here.
The national nonpartisan group Braver Angels offers free online courses (each taking about 40 minutes to complete) to help people cope and communicate amid political divides in communities, on social media and within families. Additionally, Braver Angels Oregon is hosting free post-election events across the state in the coming weeks and months that are open to the public.

Election Anxiety? I Can Help You Work Through It

Four Truths About Thriving in Trauma Recovery | Map Your Healing Journey

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61 Tips About the Grief Experience.

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Short & Sweet Holiday Coaching Special

kellywilsonwrites

11 Nov, 2024

I’m offering Short & Sweet Holiday Coaching Special appointments now through the end of December!

Why?

Whew.

FIVE BIG REASONS!

#1. The Holidays are Barreling Toward Us

As I write this, it’s the middle of October.

Thanksgiving is NEXT MONTH.

Christmas is LESS THAN 100 DAYS AWAY.

THE HOLIDAYS WILL BE HERE IN A SNAP.

It may not FEEL like it’s time to face the holidays, but…IT’S TIME TO FACE THE HOLIDAYS.

#2. Holidays Can Be Tough With Trauma & Grief

Ha! I said that holidays “can be” tough.

Let’s face it, holidays are tough – period.

If you have trauma, PTSD, and grief symptoms going on, they can be EXTRA TOUGH, complicating an already complicated time.

What can you expect from a Holiday Coaching Special appointment? Talk about whatever you want – where you want to seat people at the table, that one tough relative who’s coming for a few days, how to make a budget, changing traditions, uncomfortable situations, blending families, money stress, buying gifts, how to make healthy boundaries without feeling terrible, losses that are tough to deal with over the holiday season, questions about how to deal with this or that…

Basically, ANYTHING YOU WANT help with for 30 minutes at a time.

#3. Committing to Working on Stuff is Scary

Sometimes you want an appetizer or dessert for dinner, instead of the whole enchilada. There’s no shame in that.

You might follow me here on the blog or through social media, but taking the next step in working with me on trauma, PTSD, and grief can feel super scary.

This is completely reasonable and expected.

So why not take it slow and steady? Don’t order the entree when all you want and need right now is a few bites.

#4. The Only Way I Can Become a Master is to Practice

I want to be the best possible trauma, PTSD, and grief recovery coach possible.

The BEST way to be really super good at something is to practice.

These shorter appointments help me to hone my listening skills, pick out the most pressing issues or problems, ask direct questions in a gentle manner, and help define solutions.

#5. You’re Not Sure If You Want to Work With Me

You may see my stuff online and think, “Maybe.” But you’re not sure, because you’ve not met me.

Plus, money is money, and what if spending the money isn’t worth it?

This is a low stakes way to find out if we “click” on that level where you say, “
HECK YES let’s work together!” and if I offer any value for the money.

5 Things you need to know about the Holiday Coaching Special

ESPECIALLY because this is about the winter holidays, I’ve tried to keep the details short & sweet.

Confidential and safe space (the relief of saying to me what you can’t say to anyone else)
Plan for your holiday complications and needs
Book as many of these appointments as you want through December 31
New and current clients welcome
30 minutes for only $25

Schedule Your Short & Sweet Holiday Coaching Special Here!

You can now purchase a Holiday Special 4-Pack for $100 Here!

Questions? Contact me here by email or through the provided form.

Try Trauma Recovery & Grief Recovery Coaching

Sign up here to get a free copy of Five Things Every Trauma Survivor Needs to Know AND

61 Tips About the Grief Experience.

Find out more about Trauma and Grief Recovery Coaching

I offer one-on-one sessions, groups, PTSD Remediation, and classes. Appointments are offered in-person and online.

Try Trauma Recovery and Grief Recovery Coaching for Free! Book a free 30-minute discovery call and find out more!

To Read When You Feel Hopeless

kellywilsonwrites

6 Nov, 2024

Some seeds require cold in order to sprout. Seems counterintuitive, to put seeds in the ground to weather winter’s freezing temperatures.

But it’s a thing, and it’s called Cold Stratification.
***
One of the primary things I’ve struggled with this year is Losing Hope.

I have long preached about Hope.

As a childhood sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and neglect survivor, I had Hope of getting out of that environment and living a better life.

As a teenager left on my own to finish high school –

As a high school graduate, putting herself through school with scholarships and multiple jobs –

As a teacher, a wife, a mother, a stepmother, a friend — who has felt overwhelmed and damaged and never, ever good enough but determined to be and do better for the people in my life –

Most recently, as a mental health professional and small business owner and community member –

And as a gardener and medicine maker.
***
Gardening is Hope in Action. Living Hope.

a pair of hands working with dirt, replanting in terracotta pots

Digging. Sowing. Tending. Watering. Pruning. More Watering. Weeding. Again with the watering.

If you’re lucky, Harvesting.

Never knowing what seeds will sprout.
Never knowing what plants will live.
Never knowing what the weather will be.
Never knowing if pests will take over.
Never knowing if blooms will fruit.

Sometimes — in spite of the best information and experience and environment — some is lost. Maybe all is lost.

Sometimes the only way is to lose.
***
When I felt Hope leave during this year, I was bereft.

I grieved.

I felt like a fraud in my line of work. What could I possibly provide others if I did not have Hope?

Life got really dark.

So dark that I could not see my hand in front of my face. So dark I only had echoes to listen to and rough tunnel walls underneath my fingertips.

The entrance to a dark cave is covered with moss and in a forest

I stumbled over unseen obstacles. I fell.

Bruised and broken, I got back up.

Life got very, very cold.

I did not see a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

And I was alone.

I could not admit that I had Lost Hope. I was too afraid that I would not experience Hope again.

I grieved. All year, I grieved.
***
From May through October, I took a Gardening As Medicine class. One Wednesday a month, I spent a whole day on a local farm, learning about growing plants to make medicine.

During our class about preparing and planting seeds, I learned about Cold Stratification.

Those seeds resonated deeply within me.

The seeds that need cold and dark and no light at the end of the proverbial tunnel in order to know when it’s time to break open completely.

Seeds that need cold so that they know when warmth arrives.

The seeds that — when Hope feels lost — do not give up, but hunker down and wait until the moment is right for them to break open.
***
Every Fall and Spring, I facilitate a writing group.

We write about trauma and grief and loss and kids and family and current events and pets and funny stuff and more.

We write and we read and we are held by witnesses who quietly celebrate as we break open, like seeds who sense it’s finally warm and safe enough to sprout.

During our last meeting a couple of weeks ago, I finally admitted about my year of Losing Hope.

The words made a path for me to follow, out of the cold and dark and solitude.

Nobody tried to “fix it,” including me. No platitudes. No false comfort.

Only witnessing.

Witnesses to my struggle and pain and wrestling.

Witnesses to the dark and cold and uncertainty and despair.

As I wrote, I remembered Cold Stratification. I considered the possibility that 2024 was my Cold Stratification year.

As I read, I felt the warmth that signaled that Hope was not Lost.

Hope had been dormant, waiting for the right moment to break me open.

Lost Hope? I Can Help You Work Through It

Sign up here to get a free copy of Five Things Every Trauma Survivor Needs to Know AND

61 Tips About the Grief Experience.

Find out more about Trauma and Grief Recovery Coaching

I offer one-on-one sessions, groups, PTSD Remediation, and classes. Appointments are offered in-person and online.

Try Trauma Recovery and Grief Recovery Coaching for Free! Book a free 30-minute Discovery Call to find out more!

If You are Stressed During Election Week, You Have More Power Than You Think

kellywilsonwrites

4 Nov, 2024

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but over the last election week, I spent a lot of time crying and pooping.

Nervous system dysregulation is a B*TCH. And I am a SENSITIVE SOUL in a troubled nation and world. During US election week. As an empath.

If you are feeling the stress and extra trauma symptoms this week, you are not alone. Here are some ideas to focus on and help get through the next few days.

Why Election Week is Stressful

Election Week is triggering to most of us.

Why?

Human brains and nervous systems DO NOT LIKE UNCERTAINTY.

And over the last decade – especially with the worldwide Covid pandemic – we’ve experienced A LOT of collective uncertainty. If you grew up in childhood abuse and trauma (like me), your system is even MORE sensitive to uncertainty.

I’ve been noticing a lot of trauma stress responses to this uncertainty in my own system. Like I always say, Awareness is Everything.

The fair follow up question is, okay now that I’m aware of it, what now?

That’s what this post is about. What do we do when we’ve noticed our trauma responses, especially during this stressful election week?

Take Back Your Power

A woman walks down a path. She wears a black trenchcoat and carries a yellow bag. There are paths in different directions jutting off the main path.

The thing about human brains is that we forget. We’re not dumb, we just forget.

One of the things that we forget is that we have a lot more power than we think we do.

How do we have more power?

We have choices.

We might not always like them, but we have them.

One of the things that my brain revealed is that I felt powerless and that the world felt out of control. In the past, this would have caused me to collapse into dorsal vagal (no shame here). Right now in my journey, my brain said:

Okay, WHAT DO I HAVE CONTROL OVER? Myself and my environment.

So my husband and I spent an entire day deep cleaning our home.

I gotta say, it felt SO GOOD. And we’re not done. But that sense of powerlessness is pretty much gone, because I remembered that I have more power and control over myself and acted on it. I had just forgotten.

That’s one example of taking back your power. I’m curious about other ways that might show up for us.

Make Many Plans for Election Week

When it comes to trauma symptoms, I have some good ideas about how I might respond. However, as I grow and change and transform, my trauma responses and needs continue to change.

In other words, sometimes I don’t always know how my nervous system is going to respond.

That’s why it’s good to not make ONE plan for taking care of yourself, but MANY plans.

In addition to deep cleaning, I have used different ways to help soothe my emotions.

The other day, I used the gift of time and took a walk and bought a beautiful dress I could afford at a nearby thrift store. I even HAD FUN, and it’s been quite a long time because of how personally turbulent my year has been.

A couple of days ago, my husband took me to Powell Butte. We walked our dog around and took in the quiet and stillness and beauty. I prefer mountains to anywhere else because higher up, I feel less of the chaos and energy on the ground. We came home and I made a cake and a pot roast simmered.

My point is make many plans – a plan if you want to have fun, one for resting, one for numbing out on a TV series or movies, one for baking or cooking, one for outside, one for being with people, one for hibernating…

You get the idea. Having some good plans can help you feel more secure and remind you that you have choices.

Practice What is Good for You

A person in a red sweatshirt is centered on a rural road, walking towards mountains in the distance. Grass and trees are on either side. The words, "Trauma Recovery is Slow Work, Every Step Counts" is above and below, along with Kelly Wilson, CTRC-I, MapYourHealing.com

Notice that I did NOT say, “practice what feels good.” LOL That is a dangerous game.

However, good practices CAN feel good. Here are some of my favorites during stressful times.

Become An Observer – this is also known as Step Away From The Spiral. Feel a sensation, notice it, watch it, name it if you can, let it go. Observe what’s happening in your body and nervous system. This is POWERFUL tool and it lasts forever.

Avoid Engaging in Draining Conversations – You are not required to step into every conversation you are invited to, online or in person. Some strategies I’ve used is just not engaging, setting a verbal boundary, changing the subject, and/or excusing myself and walking away. You are important enough to protect.

Let Yourself Feel – Allowing yourself time and space to feel is really important. If allowing emotions to flow through is really uncomfortable for you, I GET IT. It takes time and practice. Some things that I like to do is set a timer – for example, I can cry for 15 minutes before I want to take a break. Another thing is to talk through what you’re feeling with a trusted friend or partner, which will help relieve the pressure.

GO OUTSIDE – you don’t even need to move your body. Just go outside. Seriously, hug a tree – they have vagus nerve structures, too, which have been scientifically proven to calm us through co-regulation. Watch birds and squirrels. Walk your own dog or borrow a dog. Go to a park nearby. Collect fall leaves. Breathe fresh air. You WILL feel better.

Do a Body Scan – or another guided meditation. This kind of practice helps to create a sense of safety within yourself, allowing you to return to that inward space in emotionally stressful times.

Try one or two of these self-soothing tools from the Trigger Toolkit.

This is NOT the Time To…

make big decisions
take stuff personally
go out in public for long periods of time
assume you are the only one stressed out
engage in heated debates with people, online or in person
maybe even be online, especially social media
dive into a shame spiral

Instead ~

Ride the waves of emotions, the best that you can and as much in real time as possible.

Pretend you are a ship in a storm. Hunker down and hang on.

Hold on loosely, and don’t let go.

And reach out if you need.

I Can Help You Work Through Stressful Times

Sign up here to get a free copy of Five Things Every Trauma Survivor Needs to Know AND

61 Tips About the Grief Experience.

Find out more about Trauma and Grief Recovery Coaching

I offer one-on-one sessions, groups, PTSD Remediation, and classes. Appointments are offered in-person and online.

Try Trauma Recovery and Grief Recovery Coaching for Free! Book a free 30-minute Discovery Call to find out more!

Feeling Extra Stress? Download Your FREE Calming Tools!

kellywilsonwrites

30 Oct, 2024

I probably don’t have point out that it’s stressful out there.

There are a lot of VERY POWERFUL FEELINGS swirling around, inside and outside of us.

Every day, I feel this tight, worried ball of energy ramping up as we get closer to the Election.

Why so much stress?

Because we don’t know what’s going to happen.

And the human brain and nervous system do not appreciate the unknown or the ambiguous or uncertainty.

What You Might Be Feeling

Short-tempered, angry, cranky
Tense and nervous
Hopeless and/or hopeful, sometimes at the same time
Dismissive
TIRED – emotionally and/or physically fatigued
Overwhelmed
Defensive
Scared, terrified
Excited

…and more!

How do these show up? That’s fairly personal, but we’re all human, so there are definitely patterns.

The anger and crankiness might show up while driving or trying to make an appointment or when your internet mysteriously drops (this has all happened to me over the last week).

Overwhelmed might show up by wanting to hermit and avoid people and places.

You might find yourself snapping at your kids or partner or coworkers.

You might be tempted to overindulge.

What’s My Point?

I mostly want people to know that they are not alone. In the past, I felt “like a freak” for so long because I thought I was the only one who felt xyz.

The reality is that, for various reasons, we all feel and experience similar things but don’t talk about them. So I talk about stuff, as much as I can. You are not alone.

The second reason is that I want people to know that they – YOU – have power and choice.

You have the ability to use knowledge and skills to show up for yourself (side note: ability is not the same as capacity. You may be able but simply not have the energy. You know what? That’s perfectly okay. The key is self-compassion).

The third reason is that the more tools you have, the more you can be your own best companion. If you are reading this, there is a very good chance that somebody in your life – for whatever reasons – taught you to not like yourself. For me and many others, it was abuse from primary caregivers or spouses or family members.

You do not have to follow in their footsteps. You can break the cycle.

We Need A Lot of Calming Tools

Just like tools in the toolbox in your garage, there are different kinds of calming tools for what ails ya.

Maybe you need –

– a good distraction that is not a substance.

– to suss out the source of the emotions.

– interrupt the spiral inside your own head.

– increase your window of tolerance.

– calm our nervous systems and get some rest.

Whatever you need, here are some good tools that you can put in your toolbox. Pick one or two or three that resonate with you and give them a try.

And don’t forget – like I tell my clients – reach out if you need to.

(this is a good time, because I’ve got an Election Special right here)