Virtual Writing Group for Father's Day Feelings - Two Sessions

kellywilsonwrites

5 Jun, 2024

Trauma survivors often experience their most profoundly painful experiences at the hand of their parents.

I am one of those trauma survivors. One of the things that has gotten me through the toughest parts of my life is writing. From junior high school onward, I’ve been processing the world through words, written and spoken. Writing – in groups, especially – continues to help move me forward in my personal trauma and grief work.

There’s a profound sense of healing that happens when we feel SEEN and HEARD.

I recently hosted two virtual writing sessions about Mother’s Day, and I have been motivated and encouraged to offer sessions about Father’s Day feelings.

How Does This Virtual Writing Group Work?

We gather in a zoom room – early for chatting, if you’d like – and I help introduce everyone.

I announce the guidelines, which are Confidentiality, Compassion, and Thoughtful Response so that we can all feel as safe as possible. We do a brief grounding exercise. I introduce the prompts and we write on our own for a specific amount of time.

Once the timer goes off, we stop writing and take a brief bathroom break. Then we come back together and each person reads, giving time for Thoughtful Responses. These are responses that are ONLY about how the piece affected you and what resonated (NO critique allowed).

How Do I Sign Up?

So glad you asked! Send me an email at kelly@mapyourhealing.com or comment on this post and I’ll send you the zoom link as we get closer. Questions? Please email or comment those as well!

There are TWO Father’s Day Virtual Writing Sessions. Here are the details:

Tuesday 6/11/2024 from 4:30 to 6:30 PM PST

Thursday 6/13/2024 from 1:30 to 3:30pm PST.

Donation only – I’ll provide links.

Also, details are here ⬇️ ⬇️

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The Bathroom Mystery Has Been Solved!

kellywilsonwrites

4 Jun, 2024

Remember last week when I thought I MIGHT HAVE TO BURN MY HOUSE DOWN DUE TO MYSTERIOUS BATHROOM NOISES???

And how I HAD TO GO INTO THE BATHROOM AND PULL BACK THE SHOWER CURTAIN, NOT KNOWING WHAT I WOULD FIND???

And how I was ALL ALONE IN THE HOUSE???

THE MYSTERY HAS BEEN SOLVED!

This provides us all with FREE serotonin and no more critters trapped underneath the tub!

Whew. Thank goodness.

This post had little to do with trauma or grief, BUT if you’re interested ~

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I offer one-on-one sessions, groups, PTSD Remediation, and classes. Appointments are offered in-person and online.

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Three Solid Ways to Work With PTSD Symptoms

kellywilsonwrites

4 Jun, 2024

There is no “one” or “right” way to work with PTSD symptoms. (Not sure if you have PTSD symptoms? Take this FREE PTSD Quiz to find out!)

If there’s a PTSD treatment option, I have likely tried it. One of the things I’ve learned in almost 20 years of my own trauma, PTSD and grief recovery work is that timing and comfort play an important role.

Example: around 10 years ago, I wanted to try TRE (Trauma & Tension Release Exercises) that I had just heard about. I found a yoga studio where there was an option to try it for a reduced price under the care of a trained instructor.

I got through 20 minutes of an hour session before I could not do any more. I felt physically ill, sick to my stomach.

My body was not ready – did not feel safe enough – to practice the exercises.

I was a little disappointed, but not upset. This was excellent information about what my body and brain were ready for, and it was not time for this kind of somatic work.

Fortunately, there are SO MANY WAYS TO WORK WITH PTSD SYMPTOMS! In my practice, I work with people and PTSD symptoms in three main ways – I have used each of these ways as a trauma and PTSD survivor. These options range from unstructured to more structured, and what we choose depends on what works for each client…because there’s no “one right way.”

The Least Structured: PTSD Symptoms in Real Time

I do in-person and virtual appointments. But let’s be real, I’m going to be sitting on a couch…

The first option is to work with PTSD symptoms as they are showing up in your life. This is a good way to work on PTSD recovery as you notice how symptoms are affecting your partnerships/marriage/significant other, parenting, friendships, work experiences, and more.

For example, if you are experiencing triggers at work that are interfering with your job performance, we would focus on learning about those and how to deal with them. Or if you are having relationship problems, we can explore how PTSD symptoms are contributing to the situation and how to work to reduce the effects of those symptoms.

This type of work is done through regular ol’ trauma recovery appointments, meeting each week or every other week. We focus on identifying the symptoms, regulating the nervous system, and learning and incorporating new skills to help reduce the impact of PTSD symptoms in these areas.

Top Down Skill Building for PTSD Recovery

First of all, what do I mean by “top down” when it comes to working with PTSD symptoms?

This term refers to using the brain first, before the body. When we approach something in a “top down” way, we use our prior knowledge, beliefs, experiences, and skills to incorporate new information. We make intentional decisions to shift our beliefs and behaviors in order to reduce PTSD symptoms in our lives.

My favorite way to work with clients in a top down approach is PTSD Recovery Basics. This is an 8-session course based on the curriculum, Seeking Safety (I have been through this curriculum a couple of times as a trauma survivor and found it very helpful). Sessions are 90-minutes long (at no extra cost) and occur each week or every other week.

This curriculum focuses on using a “top-down” method, which means learning about specific ways that PTSD occurs, exploring how these symptoms show up in your life, and how to reduce the occurrence and effects of these symptoms. Plus, the skills taught in this curriculum can be used forever.

Working together, clients and I decide what skills are needed and what will be most useful for this particular time in life. These skills can include how to deal with anger, identifying and managing triggers, incorporating emotions and feelings in safe ways, asking for help, practicing health boundaries, and more – there is a large list to choose from, and you have the final say!

The Somatic Technique That I Use

Blond woman in a Vagus Nerd bright pink tank top — I’m a vagus nerd!

The third technique that I use is PTSD Remediation. This is a 12-week protocol with one-hour sessions each week. This treatment option gets rid of PTSD symptoms altogether by resetting the nervous system and shutting down the “trauma loop” that is PTSD.

PTSD Remediation is a somatic technique, using a combination of square-breathing and gentle movements in the body to activate the vagus nerve. When the vagus nerve is activated in this way, the amygdala part of the brain where our traumatic memories are stored gets dumped out. Then we are able to process what we went through on a somatic (body), physiological (nervous system), and emotional level.

Each week, our meetings consist of talking about and feeling through what is coming up for you in this process, as well as practicing using this technique so that it is available to you in the middle of PTSD episodes over these 12 weeks.

At the end of 12 weeks, PTSD symptoms are GONE.

How to Find Out More?

If one or more of these techniques peaks your interest or if you have questions, I would love to chat! Click or tap the button below and get your FREE 45-minute PTSD Screening appointment and find out how we can work together.

Schedule Your Free 45-Minute PTSD Screening Appointment Here

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I offer one-on-one sessions, groups, PTSD Remediation, and classes. Appointments are offered in-person and online.

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Raise PTSD Awareness Throughout the Month of June!

kellywilsonwrites

1 Jun, 2024

I started Map Your Healing Journey in September 2021. My only goal was to work with civilians who have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

I received NO inquiries about that. It was crickets.

Was it my marketing? Getting the word out? Nope. I got a lot of clients through word of mouth that were dealing with a lot of heavy stuff, and I was (am) honored to work with them.

People weren’t working with me on PTSD recovery because PEOPLE DON’T KNOW THAT POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER OCCURS OUTSIDE OF THE MILITARY.

Realizing this was a HUGE moment for me.

My goal then – on top of the other professional and personal goals I have since September 2021 – was to RAISE PTSD AWARENESS AMONG CIVILIANS.

In other words, bring PTSD awareness, education, and treatment to people who have NOT served our country in the military.

Here we go!

June is PTSD Awareness Month!

As a trauma survivor who used to have PTSD*, June is a special month for me.

I wrote at length recently about what pisses me off about PTSD treatment if you are a civilian. The VA does a decent job with educating people and providing services, but what if your trauma isn’t from serving our country?

We might not even know we have PTSD, and if we have not served in the military, it might be the last place we’d think to look if we had questions about this condition. (Curious if your trauma symptoms are related to PTSD? Take this FREE PTSD Quiz to find out!)

BUT…this is what we’ve got. And the VA has produced good resources, especially for the month of June. This month’s series of blog posts will be highlighting what’s offered!

First, What the Heck is PTSD?

PTSD is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Basically, PTSD happens when we see or experience a traumatic event that is shocking and/or dangerous and we are not able to process it in real time.

There might be many reasons that we aren’t able to process it. For instance, we might have come out of an abusive childhood where we had to be shut down in order to survive, which results in complex trauma responses and PTSD. Or there might be a regional or global catastrophe – like September 11th, Hurricane Katrina, or a pandemic – that affects a large population with little to no resources for processing the trauma.

About 5 out of every 100 adults (or 5%) in the U.S. has PTSD in any given year.

PTSD Awareness: Four Main Symptoms

The thing about PTSD is that the symptoms show up when they show up. They can occur soon after a traumatic event, or can be delayed by months, years, or decades.

For instance, my symptoms didn’t kick in hard until I was 32; part of the delay was that I started intensive therapy and became more aware of what my brain and body were doing.

There are four types of symptoms with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder:
*Memories – these can be experienced as nightmares and/or “waking dreams” or flashbacks. They can be like reliving the event or experiencing the emotions and feelings of the event. Triggers are big here.

*Avoidance – In my trauma and PTSD recovery journey, avoidance has a HUGE symptom. Avoiding talking about, remembering, people, and places that reminded me of my traumatic events. For instance, I used to avoid large crowds and a lot of stimuli, because I got very easily overwhelmed and/or triggered.

*Negative Thoughts & Feelings – Oomph. This is the one that is the most painful for me, but I’ve experienced the most transformation. Feeling numb, being unable to talk about the trauma, having big holes in your memory, and guilt and shame go here.

*Startled – I was exceptionally easy to startle when I had PTSD. This is also called hyperarousal. Feeling irritable or jittery, developing addictions, and having a hard time concentrating and/or sleeping is part of this symptom.

Side Note: What’s a Trigger?

Here’s an example: I go into a room. I smell Aqua Velva after shave. The smell puts me right back when I was seven years old, with my abusive father. I can’t breathe. I scan the room for danger and exits. My body panics and I feel nauseous. Full-on nervous system activation.

A trigger is when something jolts you into a visual or emotional flashback, like you are back in the trauma. It’s your fire alarm system going off when there is the memory of a fire, but you are in no danger.

Triggers can be caused by hearing fireworks (this one is super common), new reports, or seeing or smelling something that is from the traumatic event.

Basically, our warning system is stuck in the ON position (PTSD Remediation resets our systems back into a more “normal” function).

Behold! The PTSD Awareness Calendar

I love this calendar because every day has a resource with a clickable link. Some of the info is for survivors like us, while some is to share far and wide.

If you tap on the pic of the calendar, it will take you to the downloadable (and clickable!) version. Enjoy spreading the word about PTSD and raising awareness!

*USED to have PTSD? Yep. My last PTSD trigger was September 26, 2020. I went through PTSD Remediation and now I offer this treatment to clients. You can read more about PTSD Remediation here.

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Friday Funny: Welp Apparently I Need to Burn It Down

kellywilsonwrites

30 May, 2024

You know those moments when you think to yourself, “I know what I would do!”

Like in those movies where there’s a threat against the main character, and – at least I do this – we think, “Oh I would totally do X, Y or Z!” OR when there’s someone in the house and the main character is walking around and I yell, “GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! FOR PETE’S SAKE, USE SOME SENSE!”

One time, a friend was telling me circumstances about her life, and I said, “I know what I would do!”

She glared at me and said, “You absolutely do NOT know what you would do, you know what you IMAGINE you would do.”

Last night, I knew EXACTLY what she meant.

Let Me Set the Scene

I had gotten home from a very active Memorial Day Weekend in San Francisco. I’m talking tons of walking and sight-seeing, loads of delicious food, biking and driving and short plane rides –

In short, I was exhausted.

From the airport, my travel companions and I all went our separate ways. I arrived home to my two dogs, my house companions gone for the evening.

A rare and lovely evening alone.

Well, lovely for a while, at least.

The First Funny & Mysterious Noises

I threw my carry-on suitcase in my bedroom, changed into my pajamas, grabbed a simple dinner, and sat down in front of the TV.

FLOP BANG BANG

What the heck was that? I thought.

And then I promptly ignored it, turning up the volume on the TV.

FLOP BANG BANG

I muted the TV.

The noise stopped.

This cycle went on for about 20 minutes.

FLOP BANG BANG

Well, now I HAD to investigate. I paused the TV show and walked around the house, going downstairs to the basement, as well as outside the house. I could not locate the sound.

Until I went back INSIDE THE HOUSE.

SOMETHING WAS IN THE BATHROOM

I don’t DO critters. Not alive. Not dead. Not in my yard. NOT IN MY HOUSE.

Here’s where you might be thinking, “haha just OPEN the DOOR!”

Y’ALL! I COULD NOT DO IT. THERE WAS TOO MUCH FLOPPING AND SQUEAKING!

SQUEAKING!

Instead, I was texting my husband, who was GETTING ON A FIVE-HOUR FLIGHT AND COULD NOT HELP ME.

Plus, he was like, “It’s probably that critter that’s living under the tub,” and I was like, “CRAP WHY DID I NOT MAKE A BIGGER DEAL OUT OF THAT BEFORE NOW, SINCE IT APPEARS THAT THE THING HAS FOUND A WAY *INSIDE* AND I’M TOO AFRAID TO USE THE TOILET and/or OPEN THE SHOWER CURTAIN???”

How Long Did It Take to Open the Shower Curtain???

The better question is, how long did it take for my bladder to fill up enough to have to use the toilet?

Until then, I just kept watching my show, girding my loins to be able to open the door to the bathroom MUCH LESS THE SHOWER CURTAIN.

Easily an hour.

In the meantime, instead of Yes and No votes, I got a lot of feedback like, “BURN IT DOWN. BURN THE HOUSE DOWN.”

I could not disagree.

How Did The Drama End?

Finally I just had to do it.

I had to OPEN THE SHOWER CURTAIN.

Instead of a bang…it ended with a whimper.

Which – in light of the circumstances – is GREAT.

HOWEVER, I STILL HAVE A CRITTER – AND APPARENTLY A GIANT ONE, BASED ON THE NOISES – LIVING *UNDER MY BATHTUB*!!!

So I guess burning it down is still on the table.

This post had little to do with trauma or grief, BUT if you’re interested ~

Try Trauma Recovery & Grief Recovery Coaching

Sign up here to get a free copy of Five Things Every Trauma Survivor Needs to Know AND

61 Tips About the Grief Experience.

Find out more about Trauma and Grief Recovery Coaching

I offer one-on-one sessions, groups, PTSD Remediation, and classes. Appointments are offered in-person and online.

Try Trauma Recovery and Grief Recovery Coaching for Free! Book a free 30-minute Discovery Call to find out more!