Capacity is an important – and neglected – topic in our culture.

Sometimes you want to do something, but you just *can’t*.

Sometimes you want to do A LOT of things, and you just *can’t*.

That might not be because you are stressed and tired. This might be an issue of capacity. Especially during the holidays.

What is Capacity?

For our purposes in mental health and trauma, PTSD, & grief recovery, capacity is the maximum amount that something – or someone – can hold.

I think of capacity like a bathtub. There’s only so much water that a bathtub can hold before it all starts to overflow and make a mess.

We each have a capacity. The amount of capacity we have changes at any given time.

What Changes Capacity?

In short, EVERYTHING.

Here are some examples of what can change capacity:

• The amount and type of trauma we’ve experienced – PTSD, CPTSD, nervous system dysregulation
• Grief events and anniversaries
• Death of a loved one
• Divorce
• Global Pandemic
• Holidays
• Relationships: partners, kids, parents, friends
• Physical illness and injury of self and others – this is one of the easiest ways to see capacity at work
• Chronic illnesses of self and others – lupus, long covid, fibromyalgia, and more
• Mental health diagnoses
• Surgery
• Time of year – for me, winter = LESS capacity
• The kind and rhythm of the work that we do
• Going to school, taking classes or workshops
• Starting a hobby
• Habits – eating, exercising, working, resting…

So yeah – anything and everything can change our capacity levels.

Capacity Measured in Spoons

The Spoon Theory was created in 2003 by Christine Miserandino to illustrate the realities of living with a chronic illness. Here are the VERY bare bones of what Spoon Theory means (based on my capacity and because I’ve included downloads with more info below) ~

• We have energy each day.
• Each unit of energy is measured in a spoon.
• The amount of spoons you have to use in a day depends on your specific make up and needs.
• Some activities use more spoons than others.
• We need to decide how to use our spoons in the course of a day, week, month, season, and year.

I use Spoon Theory when it comes to the Major Depressive Disorder I deal with, especially during the winter months. During the months of November and December, I simply do not know how I will feel or how much energy I will have on any given day.

During these months, I choose to monitor my spoons very carefully, because my capacity is already low and I don’t want to run out.

Downloadables About Spoon Theory

First, a helpful graphic:

And you can download The Spoon Theory Story right here ~

Capacity Changes During the Holidays

We are human.

I know as trauma survivors that we hold ourselves to – different – higher – impossible to meet – standards.

I do it, too. More than I’d like to admit.

The simple fact is that we are human and we limitations. THERE IS NO SHAME IN THIS.

Our culture expects an ENORMOUS amount – an unrealistic and cruel amount – from us, without providing adequate resources or support.

That means it’s up to you and me to figure out what we need according to our capacity and NOT abandon ourselves. This is a VALUABLE opportunity to be the parent to ourselves that we needed and didn’t have.

Take care of yourself, and honor your capacity. This helps to create a safe and loving container within yourself.

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