I’m not one of those people who keeps a strong, structured boundary between professional and personal life. I never have been.

Real life is stories, and I tell stories. And trauma and grief show up in real life, might as well make the most of it.

I try to publish a blog post a week with helpful and timely information about trauma and grief recovery. I like to keep in contact.

This week, though? Life is completely overwhelming.

Life is (Overwhelming) Changes

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about life transitions. When I hear the word, “transitions,” I roll my eyes so hard toward the back of my head that I’m afraid they will stay there one day.

Why? Because I’ve recently made the connection that life isn’t sprinkled with transitions. Life IS transition. Just one constant transition.

I don’t mean to sound cranky…wait. Yes, I do. Because trauma survivors have a tough time with change, and I am a trauma survivor.

So We Got a Puppy

The latest life transition is that we got a puppy. We flew to Oakland on Friday to meet the rescue puppy being flown in from Mexico. Later that afternoon, puppy in the backseat, we headed home on a 10-hour drive.

We had to be home because one of my children was going to prom, so time was of the essence. Stack the stress of that on top of managing an excited puppy who’s never ridden in a car before on top of driving hours and hours and being bone tired and then realizing that, oh yeah, this weekend is Mother’s Day and this is *not* the easiest holiday to deal with and my husband spent yesterday and today working on a job site and hasn’t been here to deal with puppy things so it’s just been me…

Overwhelming.

When Life Gets Overwhelming

I had a nice blog post planned – and even halfway written – about what “recovery” means. When it comes to trauma and grief, the word “recovery” is confusing, because do you really want to go back to who you were or what your life was before? I don’t. And quite frankly, we can’t. So what does that mean?

Well, we’re all going to have to wait for my genius on this subject another week. Because today is Day 5 with the puppy and she just started figuring out what grass is and that she needs to poop and pee on grass, not in the dining room.

When life gets overwhelming, it’s time to pause. Take a deep breath (or many deep breaths). Sit for a minute. Think about what you need. Give up whatever you had planned, because it’s not going to happen today. And you know what? That’s okay.

One Overwhelming Strategy

Then, make fun of it. This is my favorite way to deal with stress (besides crying and exercising). Life is absurd sometimes, let’s get some laughs out of it.

In that spirit, I present an unintentional poem that I wrote this morning about how my day was going with the new puppy. It started as a list, and dare I say, ended up as a work of art (lolol). Enjoy!

The Last 17 Minutes

I sit. I put my laptop on my lap.
I see the puppy gently bite onto my glasses case.
“No,” I say. I move it where she can’t find it…
And where I likely won’t find it, either, as I
Will forget where it is, the case “being
in a safe place.”

I sit. I put my laptop on my lap.
I hear a BONK from the kitchen.
She is in the food cabinet,
Rolling cans onto the floor.
“No,” I say. I put the cans back.
I sit. I put my laptop on my lap.

I hear her wandering in the dining room –
tap, tap, tap.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
There’s pee on the floor, a spreading puddle.
Excellent.
She’s been outside to go potty twice since 3 am.
I clean it up.

To clean it up, I rescue the towels from the dryer.
All of the towels have been used,
since Sunday.
Clean Laundry Mountain broods on our bed.
I sort, grab a towel, wipe up pee puddles.

I sit. I put my laptop on my lap.
I hear, “crunch.”
“What are you chewing on?” I ask.
It’s one of those silicone packets.
Excellent, again.
I rescue it from her mouth, it is unbroken.
I throw it in the garbage.

I sit. I put my laptop on my lap.
She noses around the leashes,
hanging by the door.
“We will, after lunch,” I say.
She noses the bottom shelf,
Shoes and stuff to chew.
I get up, I
Clean off the shelf.

I sit. I put my laptop on my lap.
I hear nothing.
She has disappeared from the living room.
This is the most
Frightening situation of all.

(c) Kelly Wilson, 2022, At the Demise of Her Sanity

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